funny marriage quotes

About the married life wives husbands and more. Before marriage a girl has to make love to a man to hold him.

Marriage Letterpress Card Funny Quotes Marriage Quotes Quotes

Its the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.

. For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked Featured Video. You wake up shes there. For marriage to be a success every woman and every man should have her and his own. Husband secretly lowers the thermostat and I secretly turn it back up.

You come back from work shes there. Chains do not hold a marriage together. Grooms once you get married remember that when you have a discussion. If you love em at night with their hair full of rollers chances are youre in love - Miles Davis.

Funny Marriage Quotes. A happy marriage has in it all the pleasures of friendships all the enjoyment of sense and reason and indeed all the. Lets be real a happy marriage is usually far from perfect and marriage is often riddled with hilarious moments. You cant buy love on eBay Anonymous.

Some of the best quotes about marriage are heartfelt and funny at the same time. I knew you two were madly in love with each other but didnt think that youll be mad enough to marry. People say you cant live without love but I think oxygen is more important. Its so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. In my house Im the boss my wife is just the decision maker. You are a smart cookie. Happiness is the china shop.

Thats why its a great idea to add some funny quotes into your wedding speech toast or even in your vows. Cute Funny Marriage Quotes For Newlyweds. Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl Stephen Leacock. A happier man loves the girl he marries anonymous You.

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. You need ten years before you can call yourself a beginner Jerry Seinfeld. Marriage is a wonderful invention. Funny Marriage Quotes Funny Marriage Quotes.

Raymond Hull Keep your eyes wide open before marriage half shut afterwards. A happy man marries the girl he loves. Rodney Dangerfield All marriages are happy. To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup whenever youre wrong admit it.

The smell of cigarettes is hard to hideMcDonalds breath is harder Marriage Tip. Whenever youre right shut up Bill Cosby. These quotes are snappy and to the point perfect for filling the room with laughter on your special day. Its funny - I read that women look to chiseled-faced guys for one-night stands and to round-faced guys for marriage.

When you first get married they open the car door for you. More Funny Marriage Quotes All marriages are happy. A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. Funny Quotes On Marriage 1.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. 200 Marriage Jokes 1. Then again so is a bicycle repair kit Billy Connolly Scottish comedian. And if you like these quotes make sure to check out our wedding quotes.

After marriage she has to hold him to make love to him Marilyn Monroe. You eat dinner shes there. Send these to your wife or husband on your anniversary and watch them laugh until they cry. If you love em in the morning with their eyes full of crust.

The trouble starts when they try to decide which one. A woman worries about the future until. Funny Marriage Quotes I love being married. Keep your eyes wide open before marriage half shut afterwards Benjamin Franklin Founding Father of the United States.

Stephanie Ortiz Look you want to know what marriage is really like. Here are my top 25 funny marriage quotes and wedding sayings not ranked. Funny Marriage Quotes I love being married. We both vehemently deny touching it.

Funny wedding wishes for newly-wed couple Wish the newly-weds a lifetime of love happiness and prosperity in a fun and exciting matter with wedding wishes funny for newly married couples. A good marriage is where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal - Anonymous. Its the living together afterward that causes all the trouble -Raymond Hull The total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution -Bertrand Russell A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve is extracted -Helen Rowland. Eighteen years nowonce he opened the car door for me in the last four years-we were on the freeway at the time Joan Rivers 2.

When Im rounder in the face I like to say This is my long-term look Or This is my wife-and-kids look right here Votes. The man who says his wife cant take a joke forgets that she took him Oscar Wilde Irish poet. You fall asleep shes there. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times always with the same person.

My wife told me the other day that I dont take her to expensive places any more so I took her to the gas station. Michel de Montaigne My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Here are some funny marriage advice and quotes youll love. Its so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life Rita Rudner Keep your eyes wide open before marriage half shut afterwards Benjamin Franklin Marriage is like trading in the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one Mae West.

Always get married in the morning. Love is the bull HL. That way if it doesnt work out you havent wasted the whole day Mickey Rooney. Have a great life ahead.

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